The last three days I was depressed for no apparent reason, well yes there were reasons. I felt lonely because I've been here in the US for seven months and I have the same routine day in and day out. In other words I am bored to death. I want a job, I told my husband when I called him at work one night and discussed some probable job prospectives that were set before me.
Of course, that simple conversation about a possible job opportunity in the city one hour away from our place didn't stop on that phone but turned into a frenzy of non-stop email exchanges. It came to a point that I told him I wanted to come back home, he said do whatever will make you happy or words to that effect. I always tell that to my husband, threathened him that I'l be going home if he won't give what I want. He's always been good to me, he actually spoiles me and I shouldn't complain.
You know the saying "an idle mind is the devil's workshop". When you're bored you get to think of so many things, most them are horrendous and you thought that the whole world is conniving against you. A friend's email has this bible verse Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God". Then it hits me, I stopped and reflect on God's words and I felt good. I know the Lord hasn't abondoned me nor wasn't he listening. He has blessed me abundantly each day. The fact that I was able to wake up each morning, get to do the things that I like to do like sleep all day, read, surf the net or the liberty of just sitting outside the porch doing nothing and just listen to the birds and play with my puppies. Plus, the time spent with my husband which I should savor while I'm still not working is a marvelous blessings.
With nothing to do, a time alone with yourself should make you submit into a little introspection. What kind of life have I been living all this time? I've been working all my life in Manila. I know what hard work is, I was raised into it. I value it. Who says life isn't boring? It can be and in my quest to overcome boredom I get to discover so many things about myself. One is that is I can actually write or blog which I've been dreaming for the longest time. I get to experiment on cooking especially baking (blew it twice and my puppies had a field day eating my self concocted cake recipe). I get to value money more, with no work and one paycheck on our coffers I only buy what is necessary and what we can consume. Even the simplest things, I found out that I love the smell of newly mowed grass never knew it before. I get to read the bible again and immerse in God's words. I can say I am an eternal optimist and what I'm going through at the moment "this too shall pass".
Truly the lord will open your eyes to see his blessings and let him work in your life. Today, I also got a blessing from a friend who wants to remain anonymous, she sent me $100 on the mail. She said it's a wedding presents from her. Blessings come in many different forms and circumstances. Most times our human nature fail to recognize it even though it has been right in front of us for the longest time. It happens to me countless times. I should just sit down and count my blessings. It's our choice but to me I chose to buckle down and count. I got a lot from the Lord. Actually I couldn't count it with my little hands.
Discover it today and it will make you happy. My prayer for everyone is this...
Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God". Heavenly Father, I am sorry that today I almost did not recognize you. Lost in my own thoughts about the unanswered prayers you reminded me that I should be still and let you work your own way into our lives. Father God I lift up to you people who have lost hope in life, lost hope in you, doubted you. I pray that you touch their heart and let them realize that you are our living God and that you'll answer our prayers in your own time. Give us a thankful heart for all the countless blessings we fail to recognize and that you made it all possible. Sorry for my whining and compalining Lord, please forgive me. In Jesus mighty name, Amen!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
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2 comments:
Hi Glendz
Im touched of your prayer and senti coz i feel the same way too.I feel hopeless,self-pity..like you im bored to death too.But right now at this moment,time to wake up ha ha ha it sunk my mind that i shouldn't felt sulking everyday,coz he made my life colorful already,the blessings too that everyday i have nothing to do except lie down,reading my passion tagalog pocketbooks while watching tv at the same time...even taking a bath im bringing my laptop...hahaha what a pathetic...watching movie while taking a bath of course in the bathtub ha ha ha addict-addicted of time...time is so precious ha ha ha what a life..right so we have to celebrate it!yeheeyyyyyyy thanks god & to you my dear friendz coz u wake me up by reading ur blogz dear.
ay weng, kita mo how blessed you are kasi kahit sa banyo you can bring your laptop hehehhe rejoice kasi God is so Good!
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